


The Inquisitor's Got No Breeches

by Roenok



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 07:18:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3125804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roenok/pseuds/Roenok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one wants to say it, but the Inquisitor might be a bit mad.</p><p>Pure silliness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Inquisitor's Got No Breeches

"Well, Seeker," Varric said, "You've certainly got a knack for picking up interesting people." 

"By the Maker, what is he doing?" Cassandra asked. She was staring, open-mouthed.

"I believe the Herald is trying to climb that mountain," Solas said.

"But there's a path right around this rock. It's got steps and everything." Varric said.

"So much jumping." Cassandra murmured.

Solas shrugged. "I assume this is Qunari training method of some kind. Vigorous exercise."

Cassandra was still staring. "How is that even working? He is going up, but..."

"Your guess is as good as mine, Seeker. Let's just meet him at the top."

\-----

Inquisitor Adaar hung over the edge of the cliff, one hand supporting him as the other reached toward the single elfroot. "I've almost got it!" he called to the group below. 

"Is this obsession with botany common among the Qunari?" Vivienne asked.

"Hey, he's not Qunari. Tal-vashoth, remember?" Iron Bull replied. "And no. Maybe it comes from his parents." Bull peered up at Adaar. "He does know we have a garden, right? Big one. We grow this shit by the barrel."

"Don't remind me, dear. I spent three hours knee-deep in the muck, collecting blood lotuses for it. Ruined a perfectly good set of boots."

Adaar clambered back up the cliff. "Hold this, please. I think I spotted some blue vitriol on the other side of the ridge."

Cole smiled. "So many colors. Lights all around. Everything glows!"

"Well, the Inquisitor makes more sense than some of us, I suppose." Vivienne said. "Shall we?"

\-----

"It is truly astounding. Our illustrious leader has somehow turned a war charger into a mountain goat." Dorian said, throwing his arms wide. "The miracles the Maker hath wrought for his faithful."

"Well, he certainly is...direct." Blackwall said. 

Sera shook her head. "I don't get it. He spread out the map, yeah, and we all looked at it and saw the road to the next camp. Then he just hops up on his horse and does that, whatever it is."

They all took a moment to to stare silently at the spectacle. "Technically," Blackwall said, "the camp is on the other side of the ridge. Maybe Qunari just prefer the shortest path."

"Well, I know one thing." Dorian said. "If Master Dennet ever hears about this, we'll be searching for a new Inquisitor."

\-----

Sera tossed her cards on the table. "Right, you lot, I'm not drunk enough to think this hand is any good. I'm out."

"I am as well." Cassandra said. "I'm exhausted. The Inquisitor had us out all day hunting gurguts."

Dorian raised an eyebrow. "Is someone getting a new coat?"

"The Inquisitor is just loony sometimes." Sera said. "Nothing you can do, really, except go along for the ride."

Cassandra looked shocked. "Sera! This Inquisitor is from a different culture. It is up to us to be understanding."

"That's not all there is to it, and you know it. He could run Skyhold around with no breeches and his smalls on his head and you lot would say it was some sort of Qunari custom."

"Actually, that one really is a Qunari..."

"Shut it, Bull. I'm trying to make a point here. I like the Inquisitor. He's fun. But you've all got to admit that he is a wee bit daft. That's all I'm saying." Sera waved her mug in the air. "Am I right?"

Everyone at the table developed a sudden interest in their cards. "Well, maybe a little," Dorian muttered.

A thud broke the silence as Inquisitor Adaar landed in the center of the tavern. 

"Oh, there you are Dorian. Just talking to Cole. Are you up for a trip to the Fallow Mire? I need to collect some samples from diseased corpses, and Vivienne has sworn off the place after the incident last month. Anyway, leaving in an hour; we'll meet you in the courtyard." He waved and strolled out the door. 

Cassandra gasped. "Did the Inquisitor just throw himself from the third floor balcony?"

"Yep." Iron Bull said. "You get used to it after awhile. Surprisingly graceful for a guy his size."

Dorian shrugged. "You should see Solas's face when the Inquisitor lands right on his desk. It is a glorious thing to behold."

"See," Sera said, "Right round the bend, he is."

"You may be right." Cassandra said. "Maker preserve us all."

"Mysterious ways and all that," said Varric. "As long as he keeps closing rifts, we'll make it work. Now, somebody deal."

**Author's Note:**

> I can't be the only one who couldn't figure out the damned maps, right?


End file.
